080112

Hi blog,

Keep keep myself from not jotting anything here. Guess I failed.

Say this year wont say anymore, guess I failed again.

I can't have a good sleep. Been dreaming and dreaming. How we quarrel, the moment we share together. When this nightmare will end?

Wonder why, Fate, Why you no dry up yet?

When you check in inn with that lady of one husband and son, why so coincidentally let me saw it? I was just going for a facial.

When I go to buy coffee, I saw you walking towards my direction, and I have to avoid by walking through row of rubbish bin.

When I wanna go down lift, you were there. I have to take another lift.

When I back from measuring mall's stage, saw you there smoking too.

Finish work, been to shop by shop research on Zen book, went to re-size my skirt, chit chatting with the ah po, even went shopping for so long with sis, when we purposely drive back to PCM just because I am craving for sushi, when the car turn, saw you again straight at the face, walking back home with a da bao in your hand. I know you saw me too, too fast, we turn away act didn't saw each other.

Didn't say any words till sis say, See, got ppl dunno think what again at there.

My first word was, he look pity hor, da bao back alone.

How can I get rid of you from my mind like this.

When is raining, I think how you come to work.

When I saw the cafe, I recall how you call me to share your fried kway diaw. Now I think back is so funny, not enough for yourself still want to share with me.

I recall how I used to buy you coffee and make you bread for breakfast. You write a yummy! at the stick on note.

All of this I shouldn't be recalling anymore. Shouldn't!

Shirley farewell, think for a long time, I still decided not to go. Ah Ming face, Mdm Face, Flora words, I know you all think I shouldn't act like this.

But, the thing between us is not just by sitting at two separate table can solve.

I just don't want to make everyone hard. Have to separate two table, who going to sit with him, who going to sit with me. I know you all will sit with me, but I don't want to make him look bad. After dinner, happy hour, who should go, who should back?

If I am not there, all of this won't be a problem. Is just a little thing I can do.

I hope your decision this time is right. I hope the girl will get a proper divorce before promise you any forever. I hope thing wont turn out like your first ex, which I know it was the biggest scar in your heart. I hope she wont turn back to her husband, and you are once all alone by yourself again. hen xiang weng ni, wei she me na me ben?

When Flo say, you seems like fed up with your life already. Of cause I saw it too. If can, smoke less, think less. Find a proper job, and back Miri. Is the only way to start your new life.