♥♡♥misaMisaN.Journal♥♡♥

180112

2012-01-18T11:04:00.000+08:00

这几天这几月这几年　我不怀念

zhe ji tian zhe ji yue zhe ji nian wo bu huai nian

这一刻这一分这一秒　你在我前面

zhe yi ke zhe yi fen zhe yi miao ni zai wo qian mian

回忆多痛苦　又被发现　我不愿

hui yi duo tong ku you bei fa xian wo bu yuan

我不要我不想　在相同的地点搁浅

wo bu yao wo bu xiang zai xiang tong de di dian ge qian

你的我的他的　就请划清界限

ni de wo de ta de jiu qing hua qing jie xian

我过得很好不要打扰

wo guo de hen hao bu yao da rao

这一刻安静就好

zhe yi ke an jing jiu hao

170112

2012-01-17T14:42:00.003+08:00

Hieee Blog,

DOG CANT CHANGE THE HABBIT OF EATING SHIT!

hahahaaa I still forget you when I am no sad. Fuuuuuuuuuu

LOLZ Nolar, I just get to learn how to fulfill my life. I am super busy.. no time.. ><

Hoping Zen Book stock reach after new year. Then I can spend 10 minutes every night to write.

Today is Shirley's last day. Memory is still the best. Miss it.

Awww...anyway I am too free nao. backup my stuff coz I am moving to a brand new pc.

During back up, is very important not to touch any file to avoid file damage. I try it be4! ==

Last Saturday, it happen that Flora and I got stuck in the lift.

Luckily, 4 kids went out already at Level 10 and we got stuck at Level 11.

When the lift suddenly thump down like playing Solero, my heart really like drop out.

And stop for a while? are we stuck in the life? What to do nao??

Okie, press bell, keep press. Why nobody talk to us one?

Last Last we sit down and start chatting. People getting panic and scream outside.

"Moi Moi Jangan panic, our technician coming"

Too bad they can't hear us.

Mdm was outside, which I found she was very caring. Keep tell us not to panic.

Last Last, beh tahan already, I call the security to tell Madam not to worry. The two monkey stuck inside wont scare want. haha

After 25 minutes, we manage to come out. Like those movie, lift open, so many ppl at outside, looking at us. Fuuuuuuuu

Nice experience, okie, at least it the first thing to show to me that I am still that soi this year!! choi choi choi~~

080112

2012-01-08T21:07:00.003+08:00

Hi blog,

Keep keep myself from not jotting anything here. Guess I failed.

Say this year wont say anymore, guess I failed again.

I can't have a good sleep. Been dreaming and dreaming. How we quarrel, the moment we share together. When this nightmare will end?

Wonder why, Fate, Why you no dry up yet?

When you check in inn with that lady of one husband and son, why so coincidentally let me saw it? I was just going for a facial.

When I go to buy coffee, I saw you walking towards my direction, and I have to avoid by walking through row of rubbish bin.

When I wanna go down lift, you were there. I have to take another lift.

When I back from measuring mall's stage, saw you there smoking too.

Finish work, been to shop by shop research on Zen book, went to re-size my skirt, chit chatting with the ah po, even went shopping for so long with sis, when we purposely drive back to PCM just because I am craving for sushi, when the car turn, saw you again straight at the face, walking back home with a da bao in your hand. I know you saw me too, too fast, we turn away act didn't saw each other.

Didn't say any words till sis say, See, got ppl dunno think what again at there.

My first word was, he look pity hor, da bao back alone.

How can I get rid of you from my mind like this.

When is raining, I think how you come to work.

When I saw the cafe, I recall how you call me to share your fried kway diaw. Now I think back is so funny, not enough for yourself still want to share with me.

I recall how I used to buy you coffee and make you bread for breakfast. You write a yummy! at the stick on note.

All of this I shouldn't be recalling anymore. Shouldn't!

Shirley farewell, think for a long time, I still decided not to go. Ah Ming face, Mdm Face, Flora words, I know you all think I shouldn't act like this.

But, the thing between us is not just by sitting at two separate table can solve.

I just don't want to make everyone hard. Have to separate two table, who going to sit with him, who going to sit with me. I know you all will sit with me, but I don't want to make him look bad. After dinner, happy hour, who should go, who should back?

If I am not there, all of this won't be a problem. Is just a little thing I can do.

I hope your decision this time is right. I hope the girl will get a proper divorce before promise you any forever. I hope thing wont turn out like your first ex, which I know it was the biggest scar in your heart. I hope she wont turn back to her husband, and you are once all alone by yourself again. hen xiang weng ni, wei she me na me ben?

When Flo say, you seems like fed up with your life already. Of cause I saw it too. If can, smoke less, think less. Find a proper job, and back Miri. Is the only way to start your new life.

060112

2012-01-06T08:29:00.001+08:00

People often say Silence is Gold.

But why, this time my silence still bring so many misunderstood.

Life is so complicated.

050112

2012-01-05T12:00:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

I only have this one and only dad in this world.

Please let him alright. Healthy.

Please Please Please.

040112

2012-01-04T08:17:00.005+08:00

Dear blog,

Yesterday was not a good start for the first working day in 2012.

This time, I didn't stop Flo as I use to do.

Because I can see that is really too unfair for her.

Friend or colleague, nobody can forever accompany each other.

If there is a better opportunity, we have to wish for the best.

When it come to decision making, don't afraid to take the chance. If it change you, be grateful. If not, learn from it. Nobody say life would be easy, but for sure, it will worth it.

Suddenly, I can see the cheebaii post again in ah ming post. Guess he already unblock me.

I still think of him sometimes. My heart still get hurt sometimes.

When I see school reopen, I imagine he bring the girl son to school like a dad.

When Faz said, he cool only when the girl acting cute beside him, I am thinking, you sure you love her? or just need her?

When you update your current city to Miri, I know how much you don't want to stay at Bintulu anymore.

When Flo said his smoking habit is scary now, I know you think too much.

But much of much of think, is just what I think.

Is okay already, because I already used to the life of treating you as transparent.

I already used to the life of ignoring you.

I already used to the life of listening all the gossip about you.

I already used to the hurt feeling of much thing you do that never even think how I will get say behind. Planning to check in the girl to our work place hotel? Where is the basic respect?

Still, I thanks God, for all the thing I get. At least, I learn, learn and believe that there is really this kind of people in this earth. Don't didn't believe.

Honestly, I didn't hate you. I am just disappointed.

030112

2012-01-03T09:45:00.003+08:00

Hellooooo World~~~ My first post on 2012...

Why is not the end of the world yet!!!???

wuahaha Yesterday damn brave I go and curl my hair.

And when you see no post of my after picture, means the outcome is DUT! haha

But as a grown up, wont cry because of that anymore. Is okay lor... start to like it, just I don't know how to cam whore anymore. Weird.

haha new year, shouldn't be mentioning him anymore.

But, on Saturday, one of the housekeeper saw him with that girl at mall. She was so funny that she follow to see their reaction.

and there goes the whole tong of gossip. The girl is ugly lor, they pretend din see her lor, the girl like lala mui lor, ngegeh lor..wow..

I wonder what's in their mind. Ain't they ashamed of themself?

If you want to start a new relationship. at least divorce first with your husband.

Is a basic respect of relationship towards your partner. Don't disturb people wife that even with one son.

If you already divorced with one son, we might pity you. Wont even say a word.

Bintulu is so small, you check in to where, the whole world will know.

Secure enough this kind of relationship?

Like we went to countdown. Ros say, neh, that is who and who bf, dancing with other girl.

I ask back, then where is his gf? O.O

I wonder why they have to make their relationship status so complicated?

No more true love exist? No more loyalty? Or just instance happiness.

Don't dare to speak too early, but I hope I wont turn out to be like them one day. If I become like that, Dear one and only bff, slap me awake okie?

I have no regret and wont felt sad anymore. I felt relieve, at least I am not that kind of girl.

I respect and love honestly.

THE FIRST SAD THING IN YEAR 2012

My work pc was installed with original anti virus.

I forgot and left my phone memory card there. It deleted all my pictures!

fuuuuuuuu

my last day picture shoot with Flora.

so do all the previous photo. Maybe is a good thing. It delete for me.

Time to move on~~ Go Go Go

311211

2011-12-31T22:29:00.002+08:00

Finally off duty for from whole day work.

Finish report, feed all fishy in the office.

Off to countdown with the gang.

Flo say: Lindy, come sit here, don't act happy. Cry for the last time. And that IT!

Yes! I am going to leave all the memory here at 2011.

Goodbye..

2012 To be a Better Me!

Happy New Year to all my precious.

311211

2011-12-31T12:26:00.001+08:00

Don't give up your life.

Prove to me, you can life better without me.

This is always what I want.

311211

2011-12-31T08:50:00.004+08:00

The awaken moment when you coincidentally saw your ex check in inn.

Fuuuuu Don't you know Bintulu is small.

Why don't go Miri or somewhere else.

So weird. Luckily he still got brain, cancel the room at New World Suites, If not, wow more stories to go.

Why always so coincidentally let me saw it wuo..

Finally, Shirley told me the truth. That girl is really with one son and husband. Haven't divorce yet.

Even I know the truth de now, so how?

Life goes on. Right?

Shirley is right, bu yao guan ta guo de hao bu hao, ze zi guo de hao jui hao le!

**************No more this name next year! NONONO***********************

My fishy drop one while I change water this morning. Drop to basen, and swim freely like nemo. Free Free, there you go fishy~~

291211

2011-12-29T21:19:00.002+08:00

Today, while helping Kartini to translate Chinese to China guest, I saw him requesting staff rate for hotel room rent.

What am I afraid he check in the girl at our workplace?

Lindy Lindy, 2 more days this scary year will be over.

When the knot in your heart can be untied?

Jia You ah. Nobody can help you, only yourself.

281211

2011-12-28T20:09:00.002+08:00

Tuesday...Rainy Day

Today, I lose to myself again.

Ah Ming send me a picture. I miss the time you fall in love with me. Although now I am not sure, that is the real you, or now is the real you.

Siti suddenly show up at hotel lobby. She pass by Bintulu, so come and check me out. She called and say wanna make so complain. Professionally, I went down and yell like crazy when saw her.

She ask me why, why I become so thin and old. I am afraid. So afraid. What had happen to me. I am really very tired. But I don't know what to do.

She ask me izzit the girl from hotel too.

I told her not to say anymore. I don't want to mention anymore.

Still remember the place we use to yell together, facing the sea?

Is been so long I force myself not to cry. Today I failed again. I went to that secret hideout and cry out loud, so loud that only sea can hear me.

Do you know, my heart ache each time you hang up the phone when hear my voice. My heart ache too each time I hang up the phone when I hear your voice.

I don't want to be like this, but I just can't get myself to forgive you.

Everything happen for a reason. I know I should accept it.

I can, is been a long time I didn't see your Facebook. Is been a long time, I make you transparent in my eye.

Is been a long time, I didn't get angry when people tell me what you say me in Facebook.

But, sometimes, when all the memory flash back, it still ache. So ache.

How I hope Flora and Rosni come back. I realize, I am really afraid to face everyone when they are not around.

Lunch time, I find reason to eat alone. I am lazy to talk, because I am afraid ah ming will say something again, which I really don't wish and don't want to hear anymore. But, I know I can't throw him to lunch alone, because he choose me over the cheebaii. He see me cry, stand by my side and accompany me through the pain. He thought I am alright already now, so he dare to joke. So I show that I am alright, alright, really alright.

271211

2011-12-27T21:47:00.005+08:00

Gloomy Day

Today, was a super busy day for me. Work till forget is lunch time till ah ming call me. Also missed the back time. @__@"" My brain must be full of water.

Oversleep again and have to make up and iron clothes at office. =__=" can't have laptop, I will online and refused to sleep.

Today, I realized that everyone around me treat me so good. I felt guilty and wonder, wonder why I never get to learn. I treat them so bad with my ngiaw ji attitude and sharp mouth. Why they don't hate me, but still treat me nicely.

I get to know from ming that Shirley fight to get my pc changed. I was so surprised because I never tell her how lag is my pc. She even get the quotation and tell Mr Manshor. I was like so paiseh because Rosni is the one who get to change at first but now she have to use mine, and I get a totally new i7. Wow, can't believe it. I can say bye bye to my intel Pentium processor? yeah, don't didn't believe. I use this processor to run software CS 3. Still, thanks to Shirley, Ming and Madam, the account team.

Shirley is leaving. I wish to go to her farewell, but I can't because the cheebai have more right to go. I understand and I know what to do. But for sure, I must say sorry to Shirley, for all the misunderstood we once had because of the colleague below. Have to do what I want to do before is too late. We might wont meet again after this.

Let me introduce one new weird guy I meet this year. He is an intern that was supposed to follow me to learn software. At first, we thought he was alright. And he start to act weird. He go and tell people he are interested in me, and I start to realize he always wait and follow me during back time. Too obvious till like, he prepare his bag and wait, once I stand up, he did it too. LOL! This is still okay, maybe I can't say that is just my imaginary.

When we go to lunch together, we all are afraid when he ate something spicy. After he ate, he will start using a tissue and *hizzzzzzzzz* errr how to say hor, making his nose muse or whatsoever liquid inside to make it come out in front of you at the table. It often make us wanna vomit. Oh Gosh, doesn't he being teach of basic manner.

Alright, all of this, we can act don't know. Everyone have own characteristic right?

Come to the work part, I really really cannot stand. He was like fooling around, and can be say totally useless for a post graduate in degree at the age of 24!

We believe he was acting cute seeking attention which he don't know that it make him look like an idiot. You won't believe what I am going to say below. But thrust me, it really happen.

For example, he need you to direct him every morning.

Ah John, take your laptop. *He just go and take*

Ah John, call Flora to enter Ifca password for you.

And do you believe that, he waited for 2 hour because the Ifca was signed out due to connection error? I was like going berserk. Fiza inform me, she saw him playing with cursor. So I ask him why, and he say he being signed out since after lunch. OMFG I ask him, why don't you ask???????

The next day, I purposely test him. Rosni as usual, call him to take laptop because he is sitting in from of Ros. I wait until 8.30am and stand up ask him. John, what are you doing? He laugh laugh and say, no password enter. I was angry and say, how many time you want me to say, you have mouth, askkkk, company got so many people, who got so many time to pay attention at you?? He got angry and knock at the partition to call Flora. I was really so angry and yell at him. How rude are you? Who do you think you are as a intern to call your senior like that, knocking at partition without looking at her? Use your mouth to call politely.

Case 2:

Assign him to do a simple table for Caroling Programme.

John, you know how to do mar? Just use either Mic Word or Excel ya.

Know, he answered me.

Without worried, I went for morning meeting. Is such a simple job, sure no problem, I was thinking so in my heart.

Come out from morning meeting half hour later, which I expect him to have done it, his computer screen was blank. Okay, nvm, sabar Lindy, sabar.

Smiling, ah John, why haven't do? You know how to do mar?

Yes. Okay nvm, give him some time again, he keep draw and draw the same box at the screen.

*beh tahan de* ah John, what are you doing?? Nvm, let me teach you. Click insert table, bla bla bla, okie, now type in the information.

Guess what, when he reach the last line, the 5th line, he was out of row. What he do? he delete the whole table and reinsert with the right count of line. Really wanna faint and cheee sinnn.

I wonder how he do assignment in skool, how he can graduate, the school must be no standard. Easy 5 min work, need to use 2 hour, to teach, get angry and vomit blood!.

John, since this you also don't know how to do, I can't assign you with anything. I send you to Coffee House be waiter okay? Don't Want, he answer me. Intern can choose???

Case 3

*hmm, assign him more simple than creating table in Mic Word job. Cutting foodtag. Too bad, mission failed also. One time knife cut, paper can koyak, and he start tearing around and make it crooked here and there. Teach him where to start first, the next moment you call him to repeat, he start to go other way round. Like purposely like that.

Case 4

Laminate thing. As easy as ABC. He need ppl to teach him 3 times. Today, pass him a paper to laminate, never ever think of look at him because NEVER THINK THAT HE WILL STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT. He stand there and wait, wait until Madam pass by to realize he don't know how to use. When I come in, you think got ppl teach me use laminate machine kah, figure out myself want okay! What make me really frus is, why can't speak?? You are not the center of attraction. Not so many ppl will realize you don't know and teach you all the time.

Case 5

Answer the call. He say, he never answer even one call in his 24 years of life. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu He may now rest in peace if I believe. I ask him, do you have mouth? Yes. You can talk? Yes. You speak English? Yes. THEN ANSWER THE CALL. NEVER LET IT RING MORE THAT 3 TIMES. I GO MEETING NOW, AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE PHONE KEEP RINGING AND YOU ARE NOT ANSWERING IT! Guess what, he get angry and start throwing paper around. THROW ONE MORE TIME, IN FRONT OF ME, THROW! Intern this kind of attitude.

Everyone come to this earth with a purpose. I wonder what is his purpose coming to this world.

Wow, God really played me hard for my sin. To have to meet two cheebaii guy this year. zzzz

The cheeebaiiii kap my phone again today. Mr Manshor's phone rang. He was not around, so I answered it. hello, good afternoon, KAP..duuuuu..

100% him but weird, I am not angry at all. But still want to say, phone courtesy so sucks for a so called assistant manager...<---- FOLLOW HIM

Here, one nice song, Flora and Rosni call me to hear de.

261211

2011-12-26T16:57:00.004+08:00

Hi blog,

Suddenly in a mood to drop few words in your body.

Forget the password to enter here and I need to use password recovery. Gosh, this only prove that I only remember you when I am sad or angry, whereby I didn't even realize what password I type to enter.

So bustard of me, but you are still here year after year swallowing my unhappiness and anger. Thanks blog for always being there when I felt like I have nothing else in this world.

4 days later, is another new year.

Is time to put everything back behind. Time to change my whole new blogskin, to start with new entry.

The old one, I wont delete one single post, as this is my journey, lesson to walk me till this point.

Heading to buy Zenbook, the first thing I might gonna present myself to get back to my original life.

To be fair to you my blog, I will put in happy thing too beside sad and angry.

Actually, there are a lot of happy thing in my life, why I only choose to record down the sad one but not the happy one?

Time to wake up my dear, appreciate before you leave this world.

Love You You, a touching movie that inspire me a lot.

It happen that Flora is on leave and she allow me to bring home her laptop, which I refused at first.

Due to have to send caroling picture to press to be publish on PH, I bring it home to borrow her mail with company e-mail footer to be official.

This two day, I don't want to do anything. I just want to lye at home do nothing. Sometimes I really wonder, why I have to keep myself so busy and so tired, work till so late every night, running here and there busy on the thing that not suppose to? Why did I get from all of this? I can't even afford a laptop for myself.

Lie my colleague that I have period pain, so I can't join them to Christmas open house. Is not good I know, but I just want some time alone by myself.

Having difficulties loading movie online, thus I decide to simply select some disc from daddy room, just want to get back the feeling of lying lazily at bed watching movie while eating.

Like usual, grab one DVD of ghost story, which happen to be my fav, and suddenly saw this DVD Love You You, and think, cheyy must be those stupid ou xiang ju again. In fact, Angelababy caught my attention. She is well know for her beauty, out of curiosity, I watch this dvd first.

The movie Lov You You, make me realize, the right person will know what is in your mind without need you to say it out.

When he didn't say it, doesn't mean he don't know or he don't care.

I wish I can be dump at an isolated island for one night so I can cry like hell and buried all the sad thing there before I leave.

The cd was in a bad condition whereby it keep stuck and I have to keep repeat. I was repeat and fast forward for like hundred time.

Refused to give up, I watch at dad room. Still, it stuck during the ending.

Try to find the ending in YouTube, but can't found any.

I know if I didn't give up, for sure I can found it. This always be my characteristic.

But this time, I don't want to know the ending. Something are meant not to be known.

Just leave my imagination to decide on the ending.

241211

2011-12-24T12:03:00.006+08:00

I saw him walk down from escalator just now, with The Bay plastic which can't be wrong with perfume inside.

Do you still remember?

Last Christmas, you bought me the same thing from the same shop. But you did it this time for other girl.

Do you still remember?

You told me, you look around for warper with baby on it?

Do you still remember?

Last Christmas, your highly determination to bring me to meet your family?

Do you still remember?

How you tears inside the car, when I pass you my present for you, and say, nobody ever treat you so good before?

No, you don't.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. This Christmas, I locked my heart.

Remember the pain and I would not let it pain again.

Dear stupid girl,

Stop trying to influence him to scold or answer me back.

You are frustrated because he won't?

Do you know why?

First, is because he know is his mistake.

Second, is because he got too many prove in my hand which can drag down his reputation.

Third, he is a coward who often choose to run away from problem.

Fourth, which I still believe, we have something, something that words can't explain. How much we hate each other, we still wish to decrease the damage to each other.

I already told him to meet Mr Manshor to settle all of our conflict in work. he don't even dare to go. If you are at the right side, why have to afraid?

Stupid Girl, You must be feeling not secure now. I know this kind of feeling.

Let me tell you, making him hate me won't make any changes.

You are not secure because you are the one who make him fall in love with you, and you are not sure if he really are.

If not you wont choose to block me and even delete Vivian from your friend list.

You can't change the fact that the two of us have better qualification than you. But, love ain't measure this way. You should know that.

Don't worry, I never have any intention to disturb you two. From the start, never. If I want to, I already do it very much earlier.

Ask yourself, did I disturb you two, even one time?

So stop your action. I never say you, but is the 6th time you say me.

I tell nobody, not even my best friend. Not because I am afraid of you. Is because I want to end this. End everything. I was once a little kid like you. Someday you will understand.

191211

2011-12-19T21:49:00.002+08:00

Had a long chat with Mr Suffian just now.

As usual words from their mouth trigger a bit of my feeling but not much.

The mindset of the people here is quite close.

Can't blame anyone. just can blame myself for being stupid.

Thrust someone who I shouldn't thrust at all.

But is okay, no longer want to waste my time to regret on the pass.

Today, got the news that Shirley resign. The first thing I thought of is, he must be more pity. No longer anyone stand by his side.

But hey, why should I pity him. Not I call everyone don't friend him. They have their own choice.

Yet, I won't reply one of his e-mail at all. Won't talk one word with him.

Since I am the so called EXEC who don't even know how to pick up phone, I don't think you need me in ur area.

Block me together with your so called JUNIOR.. haha suan le bah, I am not interested to see anymore.

151211

2011-12-15T08:07:00.002+08:00

Last night, Flora and I decided to dye each other hair.

Just to save cost as we going to curl our hair on this Saturday.

The result, like usual turn out to be lakia yellow, for me, always same, never different want. haha

We talk and chat and hang out, so many shirt of hers I wear back till my sis ask, I wonder Flora still got shirt to wear or not.

I ask her, if we work in different company in future, will we be this close anymore?

She really make me miss Sop Sop a lot. Is hard to get a friend which really have the same kind of thinking and way of seeing life.

I am quit admire her actually. She come in as a new Sales from Broadcasting line, and indirectly, we make her like our department head.

She go alone to resident office for meeting with all senior senior manager. I asked her, are you afraid to go alone? She answered, why should I afraid?

Her family is rich, but she rather to walk by herself, to gain experience rather than inherited her parents business.

She teach me a lot of thing that I never seems to understand in life.

Chinese often afraid to bring out the issue of death. But, they are different. As the oldest and only daughter, she already been prepared, getting the contact of family member which she have to contact if sth happen to her dad.

She said, is good you can see the cheebai everyday and hate him. Some people, no chance to hate or even see anymore.

** Suddenly no feel to write anymore. HAHAHA Working Time. By the way, I SAW STEVEN JUST NAOOOOOOOOO!!! LOL

101211

2011-12-10T12:08:00.002+08:00

Fiza baby no longer with her.

Everything happen for a reason. When we say that, is easy for us.

But I know is tough for her.

Just hope, I also don't know, ... what to say.

When you see what other people have gone through, I will think that what so serious with mine.

No longer angry when I know he write me or his gf write me.

Just do what their like. He must hv been imbalance saw me hanging out with friend happily while he walk alone to buy thing at convenient stall. Write ocipala thing in mail.

@___@""

I felt he quit stupid, angry so long, then open his FB block and post just want me to saw it.

So call assistant manager. O.O

I act like that too before. How stupid am I.

If we goes on right, we should be celebrating our one year anniversary now.

haha how stupid, our...

My current feeling is just like this song.

So true.

比想像中更痛你真的沒回頭
我命令眼淚不許失控

回憶不跟你走都擠在我心中
我就有責任讓它值得被珍重

謝謝你曾讓我難過謝謝我沒有想太多
當愛情左盼右顧的時候

我眼淚都笑了誰還想哭呢
再勇敢的站著找回光和熱
面對你的時候我不會捨不得
因為你已是過客
因為路有些曲折是美的
我眼淚都笑了誰還想哭呢
來不及完美的就唱首驪歌
想起你的時候我不是卑微的
反而我沒有遺憾
因為我已愛過你深深的

心碎成了沙漠就快開鑿綠洲
我沒有時間不知所措

你溫柔的雙手本就不屬於我
又何必在乎它以後屬於誰呢

I once hope he will return.

Luckily I make myself clear to believe he wont.

When my tears start to laugh, what you do is no longer affecting me.

The memory I will still keep, but I wont felt sad and think what if or why, what will happen if I determine, what if we still goes on right, why he lie me, why he can be so cold-blooded?

because if your hand was not mend for me to hold from the start, why should I care whose hand you are holding now?

101211

2011-12-10T09:16:00.003+08:00

Not I don't want to help, hope you understand my situation.

Is not worth, because he won't appreciate. He will only say is me busy body, go and do. I don't want to be say as busy body.

I don't want to help and get say by him like an idiot behind.

Sorry for the hard time me and him cause to you.

081212

2011-12-08T12:53:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night, we went out to celebrate two good news.

First, Rosni being promoted to executive.

Second, Fiza was expected pregnant.

We are so happy chatting none stop. Till when we wake up from seat, we felt like so tired been screaming.

Really learn the feeling of sharing the happiness.

But, things often doesn't goes on the way we want.

This morning, Fiza informed that she MC and experience bleeding.

We are so worried now but don't dare to sms her.

We clearly know the chance is small, but still we hope, there might be hope.

From the moment I start to learn to appreciate friends and other important thing in my life, I no longer want to quarrel with that cheebai anymore.

How his bitch say me, how he say me in e-mail, I also felt lazy to quarrel with him anymore. Whatever, just say what you like.

061211

2011-12-06T18:27:00.004+08:00

Beh Dong that stupid girl~

Slow slow kena lie bah,

but stop saying me.. Hate to see that. Like you are so good, as if.

"He cannot online during work, later ppl spy him and tell manager, he need to pack beg and leave"

Fuuuuu think too much le bah, who wanna spy? I online like hell during work, no ppl halau me pun?

He will scare no job mer, I thought he dying to leave Bintulu?

If I want to tell, early early I already tell everything when Mr Manshor asked last time. The anjing baka kurap, bitch, vomit, sucks, all already sufficient to make an assistant manager forever an assistance manager.

The useless guy also same. Tell so many lies to make himself sound so pity.

Lindy idea is good but I have communication problem with her, Can you help me to do? I no force you.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Before not say, I NOT NEED, I CAN DO MYSELF! LOL

klar, I know I have to let go the dendam. But still, hate to see and hear all this.

I din do anything, din say anything, din write anything, why that girl act like that? This is just what I saw, no see dao, and not hear dao de, worst bah.

For you! Don't too over estimate urself, be responsible of what you ever say, don't trouble people.

041212

2011-12-04T03:22:00.002+08:00

Finally, decided to deactivate my Fb account, block my blog, at least for a certain time till everything is back to normal.

I just want to go through the life, life without influence by anything.

I am ashamed of myself, for making myself look so awful because of him. Always can't control my anger.

Thanks to all my friends for the care, really appreciate it so so much.

031212

2011-12-03T19:54:00.010+08:00

I am so angryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Nobody let me know, I never know I was scold like that.

This is only what I see, what I haven't heard is for sure even worst.

Bitch, I never scold you, never say you, but hey bitch!, I have to scold you nao!

You are stupid, cheeebaaaiiiii and stop acting pure. God a husband and son, take care your fck attitute.

Saying me wont give you any benefit. You want him, you got him now.

And believing he is pity, you are brainless!

He is pity, you are idiot.

I once pity him too before.

He also told me Vivian use his money. She only say I love you when he paid his bill.

She ask for branded, what dun wan admit him...

6 months no contact when they are only together for 7 month. Okay is me stupid to believe!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu Fuckkkkkk.

I scold him?????? how can he twist and turn like that? If I am gila babi, you all are stupid brainless babi, and he is suckkkkkksssss aseeeholeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Go to Taiwan not his fault lar, you all take gun put at his head force him go de lar!!!

Say YOU go Taiwan sleep with HER de ppl is NOT ME! NOT ME! SEE PROPERLY! I HAVE TO TAKE THE EFFECT FROM WHAT PPL SAY, AND YOU TWIST AND TURN SAY IS I SCOLD YOU! CHEEEEBAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Stop acting pity your faggottt cheebbaiiiiii uselesssss guyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop thought ppl so interested to stalk you. You are just a topic of fun for ppl to talk and laugh at. Stupid!

Really meaningless I control my anger for so long, Monday for sure I will give you a slap! I swear!!!!! Job I also can don't want! Don't let me saw you!

021111

2011-12-02T08:07:00.002+08:00

Finally I understand everything.

All the song, all the comment.

She is a girl with husband and son.

The world is really getting weird.

Is not a easy road to walk.

But is none of my business.

Always think twice before you do anything.

Your dad and mum, have to accept all sort of girl you bring home.

Kinda felt they are pity.

Beside care your own feeling, try to think for others too.

Yet, is not right for me to judge. Life is theirs. I never walk a mile on their shoes. Just hope for the best.

011212

2011-12-01T08:57:00.004+08:00

Finally, all the truth is reveal.

This is what I was waiting for.

Prove that you will lie to me, prove that the hairdresser is the girl, prove that you are in a relationship.

Guess you are happily heading back to celebrate your birthday with a new one.

You have been repeating the same thing for the third years with the 3rd person. Kinda scary when I think back that I am one of it.

You don't have the right to say how pity you are, how hurt you are, you are the one who decide the road.

I hope this time is the right one. So you won't have to repeat it again.

Is time to settle down. Happy Birthday.

291111

2011-11-29T16:02:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I really don't wish to hate him anymore. No longer want to quarrel anymore.

The words that come out during anger, I understand, is not from the heart.

Or perhaps, is just me, just me who think like that, he doesn't think so.

It's been one week, Lindy you are doing well.

Is a long week, but you have gone through.

It shouldn't be any problem for the next week, next, next week.

Just remember, you have been given up by him.

請感謝我被放棄過

2011-11-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

Meaningful~

My Love

ru guo ni bei ta shang guo dao hen tong qing gan xie ta hao xin zhe mo
如果你被她傷過到很痛請感謝她好心折磨
If you have been hurt deeply by her, please thank her for the torment

ru guo ni dui ta gan dao kui JIU qing gan xie ta kang kai lei liu
如果你對她感到愧疚請感謝她慷慨淚流
If you feel sorry for all you did to her, please thank her for the tears she shed

zai wo men xiang yu xiang ai zhi qian
在我們相遇相愛之前
Before we met and before we love

duo kui you ta rang ni cheng shu
多虧有她讓你成熟
Thank her for giving you a chance to grow up

ru guo ni xian zai gu du ji mo qing gan xie zhe mei li deng hou
如果你現在孤獨寂寞請感謝這美麗等候
If you are alone and lonely, please be thankful for this wait

ru guo ni hai zai wei ai fan cuo qing gan xie hai mei zhao dao wo
如果你還在為愛犯錯請感謝還沒找到我
If you are still making errors in love, please be thankful you have not found me

yao zou wan mei ge qu zhe lu kou
要走完每個曲折路口
Till we go thru all the twist in life

wo men cai dong ai shi shen me
我們才懂愛是甚麼
Do we finally know what love is

woo~ my love woo~ my love

ru guo qing xing wo zhi de yong you qing gan xie wo bei fang qi guo
如果慶幸我值得擁有請感謝我被放棄過
If you are grateful I am worthy, please be thankful I was someone's past

ru guo xin shang wo jian qiang wen rou qing gan xie na zhen gui shang kou
如果欣賞我堅強溫柔請感謝那珍貴傷口
If you like my strength, my tenderness, please be thankful of the wound I had

zai wo men xiang yu xiang ai zhi HOU
在我們相遇相愛之後
Now that we have met and are in love

yi han dou hui bian cheng shou hou
遺憾都會變成守候
Regrets are but waiting

woo~ my love woo~ my love

dang wo men zhong YU jin jin xiang yong
當我們終於緊緊相擁
When we finally have each other in our arms

suo you ku nao hui tian mei jie guo
所有苦惱會甜美結果
All the sadness will have sweet endings

wo men jiu nai xin piao liu
我們就耐心漂流
Shall we patiently wander

ai hui lai de zai dui de shi hou
愛會來的在對的時候
For love will come, when the time is right

woo~ my love woo~ my love

281111

2011-11-28T08:51:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

I would like to pray to you, let the operation goes on successfully today. They might not be 26 of them to get the chance to operate, but I do hop Dr Kim can goes for as many he could.

To give them a chance to smile happily, confidently.

The image of the teenage girl, who refused to look at the camera when group photos keep flash back in my mind. I know she don't have the chance, as they give priority to babies But still we can't say it out to take away her hope.

Sometimes, din't saw it is better than saw it. Can't stop thinking.

281111

2011-11-28T08:47:00.002+08:00

241111

2011-11-24T08:23:00.003+08:00

After 3 days of silence, he finally deleted me from his facebook.

I know he do this because he want to express his love to another girl but don't want me to saw it.

He know he is too over in his words, and he choose to run away. Without even a proper sorry. This is always him.

Often, many times, I nearly misunderstood his msg and song ..

But I know is impossible. If a person who heart you, even as friend, he wont say and scold you like that.

At first, when I know this, I felt like crying.

But I didn't, because I know, this is the only solution.

To help myself or himself, we have to goes on with our life.

Like what the trailer said, bu xiang gen ni zi shu zou xiak chu de ren, jui ba ta lui jai yuen dian, mei gan jue yi dian, jui bu hui na me de tong.

The new chapter of my life. JY. ^__^

231111

2011-11-23T09:11:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Mr Manshor ask me to be patience to the cheebai.

I am quite disappointed, he don't know that actually the printer can print double side, only the cheebai refused to corporate.

Mr Manshor ask me, can you let go?

I told him, Sir, I can't, I really can't get myself to respect him, not even to speak a words to him.

Told myself not to cry, but I still can't hold my tears.

Was it fair to ask me to respect someone(my so called ex) who say I am dog, disgusting, suck, yucks and wanna vomit when think back? and How could him?

If there is one valid reason can persuade me, I will respect him.

Ze xiao xiao de wei chu, ku yi ku, ma gan yen lien, xiao ze shuo mei shi.

For the friend that helplessly look aside, can't do anything beside call me not to cry.

They say I should just tell Mr Manshor why, rather than let him misunderstood me.

But I just don't felt like saying anything anymore. Really, don't felt like saying one words about it again.

For a busy month, strike hard, to do my best before I leave.

211111

2011-11-21T09:36:00.003+08:00

yuen lai, je shi dui yi ge ren che di shi wan de gan jue.

shuo bu ku, dan yen lei hai shi ren bu chu de yao cu lai.

Jien guo jai lang de ren, dou mei jien guo nen shuo chu ze yang huak de ren.

Fen shou dan chu, wei she me bu shuo, zai yi chi ze chien, nan dao ni kan bu ching cu mar?

muo ming chi miao zai na fei, wo yao shi yao da rao ni, dan ni zai gen bie ren shi ai shi hou, wo jao dou nao le.

wo bu nen dang mei shi de jai juo gong na, gen ni siao, gen ni shuo huak.

wo gen ni shi hou, ni mai yi, 20 kuai de, dou yao shuen ge 30 feng zong, wo you shuo she me mar?

Mei chi gen ni chu chi, wo dou huan wo je ji de, wo you shuo guo yi ju huak mar?

kan si, wo huan wo de piao gei ni, ni na le, wo you shuo she me mar?

ren ren shuo ni shi sissy, wo you jien yi guo mar?

ni dui mei ge ren ling sek, wo hai bu shi stand at your side.

sien jai, ni yao jou le, ren shi le xin de nu shen, you le credit card, yao mai ming pai le, chuan ming pai le, jui juan yi chuen shuo wo you wen ti? er xin, shuo yi ni bian le? sao lai le bah.

Lindy, remember carefully, Yuck, Sucks, Vomit, Disgusting, Remember how this useless guy hurt you today. Never ever have any pity feeling for him anymore.! Never.

201111

2011-11-20T11:48:00.000+08:00

You know what is Love?

You don't. You don't have the right to say I Love You.

191111

2011-11-19T15:55:00.004+08:00

當你的心真的在痛，眼淚快要流下來的時候，那就快抬頭看看，這片曾經屬于我們的天空。當天依舊是那麼的廣闊，雲依舊是那麼的瀟灑，那就不應該哭。因為我的離去，並沒有帶走你的世界

Like This. Is so true.

Working hard on my Christmas Flier now. =D Love putting feeling into the color. Hope it wont turn out ugly. =__=""

By the way, the professional liar is making fake promises again.

Save it, so disgusting when I saw it.

181111

2011-11-18T20:20:00.002+08:00

Lindy,

Sabar, what you saw now just sabar...

Before you also do like that to Vivian.

Now just take it as Hukum Karma.

Let them happy and see how long the girl can show off. Stupid girl. Wake up faster.

You will be sad if you know he doesn't want to admit you. You will be sad if you know the song for you is a recycle.

Don't get lie by him like me. You will regret. like me.

181111

2011-11-18T13:48:00.002+08:00

wuahahaha scold de good, let the idiot know his problem.

Oklar, I am cheebaii like that, happy ppl get scold.

But really tao ren yen mar him.

161111

2011-11-16T08:28:00.003+08:00

Already decided not to pollute my blog with him anymore.

But later I think back, no, I should jot it down, so when I read back ten years later, I remember I have ever meet someone like him before, and I survived!

You delete your post also no use. I have already saw it. Till The End- David

Even you change it to other song with the same title, it only cover ppl eye. Not your main intention which I already saw it with my own eye.

Is the song you save in pen drive for me.

Is the song we declare as our love song.

Is the song you play in the car, and say is just for me.

and now, you dedicate it to other girl.

I can't believe in 3 months time you can forget everything.

There are so many song in this world, You can select other song for other girl.

Don't use back the same song, is so weird. You won't recall your failed relationship with the same song?

Really weirddd!!~ Is just some basic respect to your ex. This you also don't know.

If your gf know, this is the song for your ex, and is now for her, I am sure she wont appreciate it too.

If people breakup, I believe they wont want to recall back all the thing. Why you can use back all the same thing on other girl. Is.. Don't know what to say anymore.

I am glad I can prove you are wrong. I can push down your ego-ness. I lodge report with prove. You are wrong. So wrong and cause so many trouble to your bellboy and me. And finally I heard one sory from you. But is not a sincere sorry. is sory.

What on earth got this kind of ppl. And why make me meet one?

FML

141111

2011-11-14T09:26:00.000+08:00

STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES, Y U NO UNDERSTAND WORDS WON'T EVER HURT ME? Only the person who say it will~

101111

2011-11-10T20:31:00.005+08:00

Today, we are asked to join the Brest Cancer Talk held at our hotel.

We got the chance to get checking for fee.

Is so shy to take over the cloth and let the doctor to touch my nen nen.

hehe still thanks God I am alright. So do all of my colleague.

Today I am very happy. When I start to think all over again, start to enjoy every moment I share with everyone, really

When sth doesn't look right in FB, Flora direct call me to ask.

When I wanna cry, Sop Sop was there to hear me.

When I am wrong, she is the one who scold me too.

A secret, Flora & Rosni can keep for so long just because they don't want to see me cry again.

Work time, we laugh, we joke, FB, twitter...

Lunch time, whole table full of 9 ppl, jokes like hell.

Having unforgettable first time experience together. Planning trip for holiday.

Back home, home full with family and nice meal. We are not from loaded family, at least we still can go through everyday peacefully.

This is what I have to learn. Appreciate. Each of them got their own bf and gf, yet they still manage to share so many time with friend. Why before I cannot?

As for him, sis say saw him walk to eat alone. Kinda pity. Before I felt so too, but I told her, no, not need worry. He got girl in sms that accompany her.

When I go home just now, I saw his back view sitting at Blueberry. Felt pity? No more because he is happily pressing sms.

No longer felt angry. no longer hate, just still can't make myself to talk to him. Till the day he decided not to lie anymore. You are just afraid people might say you. But if your gf know how many time you lie to me on her status, she will be even more sad.

W'U - Rojak is here, Honey, How I miss you now. :'(

First Aid time, *shake head

The lies you told me,

I don't even have friend that work as hairstylist.

I don't have new gf, if got, why am I still here, sure I go pakthow de lor.

She is my St' Joe junior. Free ticket to Taiwan with her family <-- most hilarious one

She's really my junior! how many times u want me to tell u?

Opsss, I forget not to mention him anymore. Not worth.

Someday, when you won't lie anymore, perhaps, perhaps you will see me talk nicely to you again. But is kinda hard I think.

or maybe I should think positive a bit? Like this song?

Last Last LAST

2011-11-10T07:51:00.008+08:00

Still bu gan xin me, let me express for one last time.

You say how much you sayang me before, and now I treat you like this?

SAYANG?

If you sayang me, you won't lie me on laksa mei. Whole company know and I am like a idiot lie by you for 1 year.

For someone stingy like you, surprise birthday party for a normal friend like her at Paddy's?

When my birthday, no present, even cake also buy by ming & Shirley, and you shamelessly take over to my seat and later ask them, can you share the cost?

You know when ah ming ask me why he so weird, share cost of a cake for his gf birthday? I also don't know how to ans him.

Sayang me, you won't say me soi when my phone plan got problem.

Sayang me, you wont put me to wait for one of hour without transport to go home.

Sayang me, you won't believe when people spread unreal thing. I never ever sms Vivian when with you. First time she contact me is also when we breakup, through FB inbox. I told you and you log in to read too. forget already?

Sayang me, even after break you also will protect me. Not together with other girl trying to kek me.

Sayang me, you wont stand at your staff side, scold me crazy, call me to clean my house.

Say me nvm, don't say my family. They treat you so good before.

Suan le bah, till now you still felt yourself is right.

Till now you still lie me like I am a 3 years old kids.

They saw ur phone sms, honney I miss you since October, when we go for First Aid Course~

why still wan to deny, your gf will be sad if she know you don't dare to admit her. Stop making another ppl hurt.

Why even bother to lie at me anymore? Junior?? even until yesterday still lie?Is meaningless.

I will stop for now. All I want is you to learn.

Now you know how hard it is to bare with responsible with what you ever did and say.

Do not just simply pick up a movie and decide later that you don't like to watch. Pat Pat your ass and walk away like that.

Not every girl is the same, hide behind the closet and cry.

Remember me, I am different. I can play harder than you.

I have to agree with Sop. This time, I let you win. Is just another thing I have to learn.

Not worth wasting my time trying to make you understand when you still think that there is no problem with yourself.

5 years and Still the Same

2011-11-08T18:29:00.006+08:00

Dear Blog,

I am grateful to have you.

A secret hideout where I can pour out my everything.

Can't tell family because they might worried.

Can't tell friends because they might be annoyed as myself also started to hate myself.

Do you know?

To hate is very suffering.

To fight is very tiring.

But I have no choice, I have to, to protect myself.

The depress part is, I had to protect myself from someone who once told me that he will love me till the end of the world.

Someone who I once thought he is the one.

I keep ask myself, people will change, but is impossible this much.

I can't believe someone who I admire so much in his fairness in work can act so.

Or perhaps he never change? Only I never realize?

I never angry he got other girl. I hope he success if thing is fated like that. But why, why he still want to blame me? It really broken my heart into pieces.

I am so tired like this everyday. Being happy, laugh happily, jokes around, just to let everyone know I am alright. So alright.

But actually, my heart ache, ache when I heard he talk loudly sharing his trip. When he give gift he bought to other.

When I know he lie me, when I see he press his phone, when I saw he smile while replying sms.

When I have to accept that he changed, but the memory of him, first time hold my hand in his car before we start to be in a relationship, first time suddenly kiss me in the lift, is still so fresh in my mind.

I don't know how long I can stand, but I have too. Hope my interview in Dec will success.

But actually, I don't want to leave my colleague. Without them by my side, I don't even think I dare to go to work.

The time we know he go with that girl, Flo call me to go to her house to accompany her. But I know, she want to give me chance to express. The ice-cream, it cures. Really. Appreciate it a lot.

This time, it really make me realize, Family & True Friends will never leave your side no matter how much time you repeat the same drama & mistake.

Sop Sop stand stronger than him.

Domie live a better life than him.

Wenny, without even ask what is the problem and say Don't care, sayang you first.

Aireen, Berry, Esther, Kar Yee, Joe, ah Mok, and all other which I rarely contact with, I remember all the support. I really do.

Rosni, Flora, thanks for stand at my side.

ah Ming, for didn't leave me no matter how many time I ask him to lunch with Danny.

Douglas for all the supportive video & song.

Sop Sop indeed is right, ain't me lucky to have so many ppl who treat me nice around me.

Why should I sad just because one didn't?

Everything that happen today, I have to responsible too. I made mistake too.

Start from tomorrow, I won't even mention this guy anymore.

Cannot waste my time to self-pity because of him anymore. The world doesn't owe me a living.

I need time to forget him and all the memories that follow. Month of December is hard as everything start from there.

But I believe I can, I have too. God bless me, Support me.

Love is just like a rubber band. The one that got hurt at last, is always the one who doesn't want to let go. Time to let go, my dear. 6.58pm

Everyday have to work like this is S.U.C.K.S

2011-11-08T15:37:00.004+08:00

From: Danny Pang Kang Lian
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 12:42 PM
To: Lindy Ling
Subject: Hotel Press

Let me just keep the file for daily record on how many pcs printed out. End of the month I will send it to account. You can send me the soft copy so that I can utilize the same format. Do u need a copy for reference?

Best Regards,

Danny Pang

Asst. Front Office Manager

From: Lindy Ling
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 1:06 PM
To: 'Danny Pang Kang Lian'
Subject: RE: Hotel Press

No, keep at here, I need to monitor. I say before. I dun thrust you all. I giv u the file, for explanation on the empty 4 days before I submit in report. Is not the first time ur staff didn’t print. You can cc the explanation to Mr Keith & Mr Manshor. B4 I on leave, I got send you e-mail. You didn’t reply, I assume you got the message to continue printing already. I don’t want later ppl say I simply throw temper, so I give you time to check first.

Bellboy keep complain they need to go back late. Is nt fair for them, I understand this. I already ask you all to try to print at below, so night audit can do. Even offer my help to do the setting. You don’t want. Purchase a printer to be put there, don’t want also. I can’t help anymore. Kindly find a solution for your staff.

For your info, don’t think of cancel this as Mr Keith already sell the slot to Sushi King & Digi. Next month, 100 copies per day is a must.

Best Regards,

Lindy Ling

A&P Executive

___________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Danny Pang Kang Lian
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 2:57 PM
To: 'Lindy Ling'
Subject: RE: Hotel Press

I believe we still waiting response from Alan on the printer. So far from the CC mail I did saw the image of the printer but I don’t see the price (if I’m not mistaken). Let’s see how the price looks like first. I never say “don’t want”. I say before FO printer cannot means cannot, and I had verify by Jimmy, it has no such double side printing setting, it only goes for 1 way printing. Only bigger size Photocopy + Printing machine has the ability to do that. But if you still want come to try, I‘m fine with that. Anytime.

File for daily record. Noted.

Best Regards,

Danny Pang

Asst. Front Office Manager

FROM ME (TIRED EVERYDAY QUARREL LIKE THIS, ONE PPL CAN CHANGE, BUT WONT SO MUCH. THIS IS SUCKS!)

Last time you say can’t double page in one page. And I say that is printer setting. AM I RIGHT? Of coz it can’t double side printing, I know that. But like I say, what so hard to turn the paper and print on the backside for temporary until we purchase the printer? Wanna twist and turn the story again? Since when this become your profession like your staff???

*******************************PROVE(OPEN UR EYE AND READ PROPERLY)********************************************************

From: Danny Pang Kang Lian
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 4:50 PM
To: 'Lindy Ling'
Subject: RE: New World Suites - Your free trial subscription of HotelPress starts today

Ok. Will let you know again tomorrow.

Best Regards,

Danny Pang

Asst. Front Office Manager

From: Lindy Ling
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 2:52 PM
To: 'Danny Pang Kang Lian'
Subject: RE: New World Suites - Your free trial subscription of HotelPress starts today

Every printer can. You have to do certain setting. Is okay, when FO is free, let me know. I will go and try.

Best Regards,

Lindy Ling

A&P Executive

______________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Danny Pang Kang Lian
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 2:02 PM
To: 'Lindy Ling'; 'Keith Pointer'; 'Manshor Yusup'
Subject: RE: New World Suites - Your free trial subscription of HotelPress starts today

The printer was not able to print 2 separate pages on 1 side.

Best Regards,

Danny Pang

Asst. Front Office Manager

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Lindy Ling
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:54 PM
To: 'Danny Pang Kang Lian'; 'Keith Pointer'; 'Manshor Yusup'
Subject: RE: New World Suites - Your free trial subscription of HotelPress starts today

Dear Mr Danny,

Reservation e-mail has been add in two days ago. You was been informed too. Kindly brief bellboy, as they haven’t know about it just now when I ask them.

You might want to try on the printer below. Switching the paper to the other side and print again wont be so hard I guess. Is better than wait 5 min to 1 copies to print.

The technician from Hotel Press already clarify that is our printer problem. Not their size issue as is only 600+kb.

If it was able to print downstairs, night audit can do it too. The time issue will be solve.

Thanks.

Best Regards,

Lindy Ling

A&P Executive

I say I wan hand over to you, why you don’t want and want to make it so hard. You know I DON’T WANT to work with you. Why have to make me the middle man? Find printer for you? Sorry I am not free labour of you.

Aihh.. nvm I already meet supplier with Douglas SINCE I WANT TO BUY ONE FOR MYSELF ALSO.. Find for you lar.. parasite that depend on ppl, forever wont improve. Just don’t twist and turn UR OWN WORDS AND CORPORATE, I WILL BE VERY THANKFUL ALREADY!

Disappointment to the level of 101

2011-11-08T08:06:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt so disappointed till you don't felt like say a word, not even angry?

That's me yesterday.

He scold me because of her. He say who am I to judge his friend, HER.

For god sake, I never say one bad words about her, not even to the close friend who keep stand by my side. Never.

Before, how you stand by my side, now, you simply scold me because of her.

What more else I can say.

You say is a free ticket for you to go there with her family. She is your St, Joe junior. Don't treat me as idiot. Who will believe without reason ppl will giv u free ticket to Taiwan? Give me one too, I also want to go.

All of that is none of my business. I don't want to know anymore. And you don't have to explain anymore. Why until now still even bother to waste ur energy to lie?

All I want is just don't trouble me anymore with your issue.

But the heartless irresponsible beast, say that is because myself is weak, that's why ppl dare to come and say me. They don't dare to say at him.

Is my fault again? Never even felt a little bit guilty? Without source, how come there is topic to spread?

They don't dare to go to you and say, but there are saying behind your back, you idiot.

Don't try to blame me on everything. One more time I say, I never ever say one word on that girl. I only see her as one of the victim. Kinda pity her tim. Well, maybe you wont dump her fast enough, her family is rich enough to feed you, free ticket to Taiwan? HAHA

See clearly, I only say you, useless, cheap, heartless and irresponsible. Never say other people!

Hate me bah, that's what I want.

071111

2011-11-07T11:48:00.002+08:00

为什么到现在还是要骗我? Suan le bah... Wo hai mei ben dao, na ye hui xing.

I only want to start my own new life...

051111

2011-11-05T20:06:00.002+08:00

If you ask me, am my heart pain seeing him flirting with that girl like how we use to do before?

I will say of coz, but he already go Taiwan with that girl, flirting will hurt more than that?

When I keep say how can he do that? They haven't know even for one month. But what weird of that, before we are in a relationship one week after he break with Vivian. I also didn't felt weird that time. He also didn't and we goes on happily without even care Vivian's feeling. If he and I can do so that time, now why he can't with that girl this time?

Wow. I am so glad karma falls on me now. Faster~ falls on all on me, so I can wipe off some of my guilt.

Flo is angry when colleague purposely inform me that he updated is FB. Of coz I know they did it on purposely. I still can cope with this kind of people. I open up his FB in front of her and say, you wan see right, nah, see bah. You will still see my smiling. You can't saw the sadness in my heart. That the pro in wearing mask.

How many time I ask myself, why he willing to do like that, I also won't get the ans. He is already like that.

Before I am off to holiday, I send him an e-mail, hand over job related to his department. He didn't replied. When I am back, I found out his staff didn't print the newspaper for 5 days. Before, I will get angry. Now I wont. If he is already so not professional, I will just wait till he is back and throw back all the thing to him. Is better than waste my time getting angry.

Xiang kai jui hao, I got lots of nice friend supporting me. To be happy is the only way to pay them back. Gambadeh Lindy~~

041111

2011-11-04T16:29:00.003+08:00

I am back from vacation. =)

Today, more than 6 ppl ask me izzit I go vacation with him.

You all so lihai korek gossip, why can't korek dao he is going with other girl? A girl who he haven't even know for 1 month.

I am no longer angry, because it is already a common thing for me to get all the say over what he had done.

The lies,

No money, Go KL is hard, don't know the place.

I don't even have a friend of hairstylist. Fuuuu...

Whatever. Is better to know how sucks he is now than later.

Here is the first revealing of our HiaoPo Pic. kekeee

271011

2011-10-27T10:40:00.002+08:00

11 years de, Mum, Miss you still. ❥

I am not being a very useful daughter, yet today, I am realizing one of my childhood dreams, vacation with Shirley & Siew Hui, but the different Siew Hui, using self earn money. hurhur

Dad a bit upset when he know I go on this day. I was a bit shock too when I know the date, but is okay, is planned unintentionally.

Do bless everything goes on well on this trip.

Finish packing, finish surveying map and location, just pray pray they was HK dollar at lcct.

Feeling weird not going to work.

I start to think again when I am free. @_@"

How different things could be.

Last year we skip First Aids to celebrate ur birthday. This year we attend together but as a stranger.

Last year strategic planning, you msg me to reserve the seat beside me for you. I am shy and when someone sit down I don't dare to say is reserved. This year, we join as enemy.

From the day you stand at your staff side, even they doing cheap sake thing like reading your e-mail and spread nonsense blame on me, I clearly understand that,

I am nothing, not even worthwhile to compare with those cheap lakia.

Beside hate you, I don't know what can I do anymore.

251011

2011-10-25T11:25:00.002+08:00

Hi Bloggie,

Long time no see eu..

I am busy, busy busy for few week already. =__=""

3 press release, multiple thing to follow up before flying off..

weeee, I am flying off....

Flying off from all the fake faces, ear sickening gossip, and lot and lotsa more...

At least I am free for one week. Heepi enough. =D

191011

2011-10-19T09:57:00.004+08:00

I did the most brave thing in my life just now.

After 1 year and 3 month, I finally gain the courage to talk to my manager about salary issue.

Itu pun after 2 week being push by Kiew.

I often think that ask for more pay is very shameful. It seems like I am very calculative.

When I come for interview, I was informed to help on PCM as they haven't hired a designer. I was okay with that.

But later, I was asked to work for D'Junction & Pastry.

Thing getting worse when I was told by Madam from account that I can't do other thing beside hotel's during working hour, and can't claim OT for doing other company thing, which happen to be right also.

She also told me that her staff if work for D'Junction, she must get them pay at least RM 200 extra. Nothing is free in this world. She even say, tell you honestly, they just make you a stupid people to take advantage at.

I am not happy but yet I don't dare to voice out. Till Kiew told me that PCM can't always call me to do for free. They call me to charge them. At least there is one understanding ppl.

I even tell Mr Manshor to hire one for D'Junction and PCM.

Is not fair, I do for hotel, PCM, D'Junction & Pastry.

NWM got one designer, when they open up The Bay, they hire one assistant for her.

Why I have to be so stupid. Not being pay, cannot claim ot, everyday being chase to complete my work.

And my salary is lower than a normal clerk? WTF

But, I understand, in a small place there is no value for a designer because they thought that doing design is just like typing a piece of paper.

Life is Like That

2011-10-18T16:47:00.003+08:00

I didn't angry because I am jealous you sms with other girl. That is the fact already. Why should I angry.

I am just angry at the lies you once told me. Work time can't reply sms. No time see sms.

Now even half way discussing or meeting, you also can't help but look and reply your sms.

Ever recall how you once lie, and now you doing the opposite thing in front of that stupid girl that being lie?

151011

2011-10-15T19:05:00.005+08:00

Today, I am not happy. =(

Not because of having training with him, but is because my dad is right. I learn it.

When the day mum pass away, he told me, nothing is fair in this world.

At my work place, it happen that one artist and one banquet staff punch card for each other. When get caught, the rules stated instance dismissal.

They get caught, and it happen that artist is hard to find. They can't terminate him. Thus, they got the punishment of one service point to minus, RM 200+ for 3 month.

Our office got one kepozi aunty at account department. I used to hate her a lot, the A in my previous post that say no place for her to put scanner that one, I don't like her because she light to fight over small thing like chair, air-cond temperature and happen to be extremely noisy. But since I know she miscarriage for 5 times, I understand why she act like that. I no longer hate nor mind with her when she over-reacted.

She happen to be too free, and wish to gain attention, she view from cctv after the same department colleague of the victim told her and go to report, another 2 colleague, happen to be one security and bell boy. The security punch card for the bellboy, his niece. Guess what, they get instance termination.

Why HR committee is so not fair. If you want people to obey you, you have to terminate all 4. not 2 and 2 stay just because they are more useful. How do you expect people to obey the rules anymore when is so unfair.

Steal money, not even a warning letter.

Scold guess, no warning letter also.

What for to have HR committee when it was so unfair.

But, even we know is so unfair, who are we to do anything? What we can do is just only mind our own business. Haizz...

I don't understand, I know they are wrong, but what is the feeling of the person who cause her own colleague being terminated? Happy and proud of yourself?

I also saw staff who write fake guest survey, heard staff throw away guest survey, even stealing money I also tell Mr M not to open case if it will end up terminating people.

Everybody will make mistake. Not to cover, but not need until cause people terminated. I just don't understand.

________________________________________________________

He say he will go back hotel later to teach bellboy to print hotel press from my pc. It happen to be my job to give proper training, I fell bad. I teach him in a bad manner. I can't stop but to say thankyou to him. Although I don't want to owe him anything, but yet manner I can't lose.

We having our training in a quite peaceful way. Even I keep saw he press his phone, I told myself, Don't see. Is none of your business anymore.

He change his style already. Totally changed and I felt is a bit lala. @_@" Maybe he just want to make himself younger so he can match with kiddo girl.

Well again, Lindy, none of your businessss.....

Nah another thing to show u all, from my kepo colleague.. I don't know how he did that. I googled the same thing, but is different. Must be some lie there. This is their frequent joke now. haha but I never angry them. I can see who never leave me in my hard time. Cherish.

3 months, 3 years, 300 days, I also don't mind. As long as I can go through this time.

I don't know why you say so in Facebook. I ask myself real hard. I never lie you anything. Never. I never been so serious. You are the only one ever meet my dad. There must have been some misunderstood. But is okay, I don't want to know nor ask anymore. It just prove that, we are not fated to be together. Cry, cry, how many times also nevermind, pain, how pain also never mind, as long as nobody saw it. I have to be okay. I am not afraid, because bff said, she will go through with me. Forever Troublesome Friend you have, me Lindy.

131011

2011-10-13T19:21:00.002+08:00

Why do I failed again today?

I should have control my tears. I shouldn't let Mr Roger saw it. If he tell Ms Yek, tomolo will be up in NWS bulletin again.

I try so hard, so hard not to think. I agree and take what my bff told me. I have to let go.

Just now Flo and I go to see the perfume she saw in his car. Is a Girl Blueberry perfume. My heart was pain. Even Flo try to lie me saying she saw wrong, but I know she didn't.

Why he know I am mod, still come for gym. Even I wan OT, I also see first if he is the MOD. I don't want to bump into him.

I am so tired like this. 3 days training start tomorrow. How to go through?? Have to face him whole day!

Talam Dua Muka

2011-10-10T14:13:00.007+08:00

Two sided face person?

He can act so good, so pity in front of everyone.

Say Good Morning & Smile at ME? And I am the small gas one, don't want to answer?

And this is what he write behind.

Wearing ex gift shirt trying to attract other girl?

How can I be this wrong, this stupid?

I wasted my heart at this guy. Even the shirt I buy felt dirty on it.

Today, I learn the real two-sided beast. Nobody saw it nevermind, God saw it. Let's sit quietly and see how the stories goes on. K.A.R.M.A a Bitch.

101011

2011-10-10T09:15:00.004+08:00

Spend my weekend at Miri.

I just love homestay feeling a lot. hehee

Actually at first I was thinking not to go. Because I know he is going back to Miri.

I don't want to meet him like halfway of the journey and get sad.

But after think for a while, won't so ngam de lar~ Go larh, and have a happy trip.

Boohooo, and don't know izzit fate haven't totally finish yet or God like to fool his slave.

We saw his car pass by.

Then I was like thinking, nvm lar, he drive so fast, sure wont saw him again de.

When we stop over at rest station, his car is there.

@_______________@""

I want to tell him not to drive too fast, but I know is not my job anymore.

So, I didn't go down from car to greet him when they do.

The feeling is so weird. 3 months ago, I am sitting in his car, going to Miri. 3 months later we are like totally stranger.

Weird how he can get used to it so fast.

He post his posing picture wearing the shirt I buy for him from KL.

He even wear the tie I buy for him to work.

Was my thinking weird or his?

Don't understand. Anyway, I hope today his interview will be success.

Not because I want him to go but I believe he have to, to start over a new life.

No more lunching alone, no more become word of mouth of people.

Good Luck.

One of his best buddies,

Crystal Chai haha i knw u dedicated to someone !!=P keep goin never give up i support u gao gao ~ =D

LOL wan date other girl, don't wear the shirt your ex give you. FML, why do I meet this kind of people!! This action is damn cheap to the max. No money buy other shirt ka? zzzz

101011

2011-10-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

The photo you use to gain attention, is wearing the shirt from me, The another photo you use to gain attention, is also work from my hand~ Sometimes really don't understand how people think~

081011

2011-10-08T09:05:00.002+08:00

Ohaiyooooo~~~

WAVING HARD AT THOSE UNWELCOME READER~ Hai Hai~

Yesterday, he told me not to write my blog anymore, because they read and spread it from here.

Hey, the blog is mine and I never give my blog address to anyone pun in my the company except you.

Flo & Rosni found my blog but I believe they wont spread it out.

So, if the address spread out, it must be from u also. Boo!

But, I never write that talam muka dua girl thing in my blog. Who do you think you are to call me to stop blogging.

4 years already, stop because of your one words. HAHA Funny~

You all too underestimate me. You think I will hide behind the cupboard and cry?

No~ I am not this kind of girl. I fight back. That's me. You fooled with the wrong person~

Working with Dead Wood

2011-10-07T08:16:00.003+08:00

You know what, there is one type of people I don't like to help.

Those who never willing to learn and like to stick on people like a parasite, hoping people to spoon feed them.

In our account department, it happen to have 2 ladies. Both at the age of 30-40 plus.

Let's call one older one married with one kids, A.

Another haven't married, a graduate from West Malaysia, B.

When I first enter the company, I was the only one provided with scanner.

Acc Department got lot of document to scan and it happen that they come to me each time they wan to scan. I have to spend like few hour to scan those thick document and send to them.

When I start to felt that thing cannot keep goes on like this, I offer them the scanner at my place, as I seldom use it. A happen to told me, I don't know how to use. I say, is very easy. I teach you one time, sure you know already. A say again, Cannot, my place have no place to put the scanner. Fuuuuuuu

We argue quit a some time and at last manager give A his printer that is build in with 3-in-1 scanner. She was forced to learn and she can use it now. I heard A told her lady boss, the scanner got radiation lar, put so near to me. I was like thinking, if so, when you call me to scan multiple times, I have already died for hundred times.

Now it happen to be this B. Whenever A is on leave, she will come and find me to scan. I ask her, why you don't want to learn? A pc got password? B will answer angrily, I don't know how to use watt, and black face. Fuuuuu Graduate of diploma =___=""

Just now she come again, and call me to scan. I know if I call her to learn is a waste of time. This kind of people will never learn and improve.

She call me to scan and put it into the same page. Easily, I just answer her, I don't know how wuo.

You can don't know, I cannot kah?

Dunno is myself small gas or what, but hey, is only a scannerrrr!!

061011

2011-10-06T14:13:00.002+08:00

Flo said you have family problem.

I hope it is not. I meet uncle & aunty before. They are nice person. I don't wish anything happen to them.

I hope I am right, you are only going home for interview.

By the way, FCK the certain low class people.

Read ppl mail and spread it out? Don't you know reading ppl mail is a no manner attitude?

061011

2011-10-06T10:05:00.003+08:00

I am angry when I saw he keep sms, ohh iPhone is Apps~

Before say what, so busy, cannot sms, now every moment can sms.

Why wan to tell lies, is customer?

Just say to me, is None of your Business!

You think I am idiot, I will believe that customer sms with you 24 hour a day? oOo

You too underestimate girl intelligence.

I know is none of my business anymore. But still I hate when I think how he use to lie me!

051011

2011-10-05T20:40:00.001+08:00

6 years ago, to make sure I didn't become third party that spoil people relationship, I decided to off to KL with my bff.

It took me 3 years to recover. I wonder if I decide to go to Kuching with my first crush that time, what will happen to me now? I might be landed at different chapter of story.

6 years ago, Why I have the courage to do so, but now I don't have courage to run away again?

Izzit because I am old already? or useless already?

Ai de fang xiang zhao bu dao
Wo zai ni xin zhong hai sheng duo shao

Wo de yan lei bu zhong yao
~~Zhi yao ni ji de hui lai jiu hao~~

Wai mian shi jie chao you nao
Ni yao xiao xin zhao gu zi ji hao

Mei you le wo qian shou he yong bao
Qing ni qian wan bao zhong hao bu hao

2011-10-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

You always thought what you did is good for me.

You will never know what I want most.

This song stuck in my mind when Flo & Ros sang it
-This is the fact of Life-
{She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s crying while she’s saying this
I’m sorry you are Twenty five minutes too late}

031011

2011-10-03T09:51:00.002+08:00

I don't want to work with him.

Don't want & can't.

It just recall me, the dog. Since that time, I don't even can make my mouth to force a word to him.

When he talk to me, I don't even want to look at him.

I just don't like the way he always act like nth happen when he already make a damn annoying attitude and assume people will forget about it after certain time.

Thing doesn't work like this in this world.

021011

2011-10-02T19:37:00.001+08:00

Di waktu kamu ingin
melepaskan seseorang, ingatlah
pada saat kamu ingin
mendapatkannya

Di waktu kamu mulai tidak
... mencintainya, ingatlah saat
pertama kamu jatuh cinta
padanya

Di waktu kamu mulai bosan
dengannya, ingatlah selalu saat
terindah bersamanya

Di waktu kamu ingin
menduakannya, ingatlah bahawa
dia selalu setia kepadamu

Di waktu kamu ingin
membohonginya, ingatlah dia
telah jujur kepadamu

Maka kamu akan merasakan
bermakna dia untukmu

Jangan sampai nanti dia sudah
tidak lagi di sisimu, kamu baru
menyedari semua erti dirinya
untukmu

300911

2011-09-30T09:19:00.006+08:00

This morning the familiar, but long haven't been heard, my hp sneeze.

I didn't rush over to see like before because I know that it must be Digi.

Right enough, Digi remind me that my number will be barred in one month time.

In this 2 months, the phone never sneeze. I also don't know why I don't want to off it. The number, only he know it. I think I just want to lie myself, perhaps he will miss me some night and sms this number, even I know it won't happen.

Brush away the thought, not to think anymore, just let the phone barred after one month. That time, I have no choice but just to drop out the number.

Reach office, like usual, breakfast with colleague.

I haven't cried for so long. I control myself so well, Yet, I failed to control my tears just now. I don't want you to cried. Is okay to just left the crying job to me.

You tears once on the Christmas night when I give you the first present, a empty bottle with a toy inside and 1 first wish. You told me, no one ever treat you so good before.

That time, I told myself, I will treat you good, never let you felt empty and sad again.

I never thought you will cry.

I hope this time, you really learned. Learn to be responsible over your words, your attitude, your choice. Don't ever thought that run away/give up is the easiest solution.

If we have to use our fate to change for your realization, I am willing to allow it. It's very much worth of it.

I hope you will never repeat the same thing for the 3rd time, to the 3rd person again.

Because, you never know how hurt the progress of healing will be.

290911

2011-09-29T20:32:00.002+08:00

Everyday have to act that I am fine, so fine.

Tired.

Actually I am afraid, I am afraid I am right, he is leaving, he already get someone to replace me.

But, I know and keep telling myself. Cannot think like this. You have to wish the best for him.

Fight your heart, Lindy.. Heal!

2011-09-28T16:19:00.002+08:00

Why do I still felt sad when his message ring.

Standing behind me and reply to another girl.

Even talking to Mdm Voon, he also want to reply.

Keep ring & ring none stop.

Morning briefing he also don't mind to reply.

Why before want to lie me,

Why I will believe he is busy till whole day also cannot even msg once?

I am really idiot that hapir pupus in this earth. Kill me plss...

280911

2011-09-28T10:47:00.004+08:00

I think he inform on his resign.

But, I can see that he walk out happily, with a smile on his face.

Glad to see that.

Sincerely hopping the best for you.

Guess the conflict between the two of us will be bought till the end of the life.

But, in our heart, I believe, we know the answer already.

I already forgiven you, just like how I always will, no matter what you did.

Goodbye.

270911

2011-09-27T11:33:00.002+08:00

Dear Lindy,

Ren Ren Ren~~

When he delete my mail and didn't inform Azman in the outing, I also can ren.

When Mr Su called all the way from Miri to ask for file, I also can ren.

When he always get Mr Manshor to ask on behalf of him, I also can ren.

Today, the thing I already hand over to him & Fiona by e-mail, I should have cc, so he won't get Mr Manshor to blame me back for not hand over. Now I understand the important of cc.

All also I can REN~~ This time also can. The most, one more month only before he get his ass off~ Ren Ren Ren

Dear God, please make him success in the interview, so he can go unprofessional at other place. Please Please Please.

260911

2011-09-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

Dear Blog,

I start to miss him again. I did a good job for not remembering him, never mention him again in front of my friend.

Actually, every-time I have to scold him, I am pain. I don't like to say him cheap, in-professional, in-responsible, but I don't know why I still say so.

Whenever people say he is sissy, I never felt so. I don't know why.

Whenever I look back at his Facebook, I recall and am angry.

I am angry how he repeat the same thing that he say to break with Vivian to break with me.

I am angry why he can just throw me away like that.

I am angry he mind my breast is small, my leg is big, I am fat. He should have know all of this before he decided to chase me. Why want to chase and then say don't want.

I am angry he say I am annoying.

I am angry when he scold I am anjing baka kurap.

I am angry why he stand at his staff side when they laugh, making fool of me and accused me for the things I never do.

I am hurt when he is willing to help Shirley to find her dog but he don't even care when Sasi is sick. Well, stupid me, who is him anymore to care you.

I am angry when today Mr Su call all the way from Miri calling me to send him file just because he don't want to liaise with me first.

But of coz, I say nth anymore. I am even too disappointed to go and quarrel anymore.

Actually I really hate myself. Why I just can't accept that he changed. Why keep want to lie myself that he actually cared.

When he doesn't on Facebook, I know he already had another girl to pay attention at. I knew it. It going to happen also sooner or later.

250911

2011-09-25T17:31:00.004+08:00

Dear blog,

Yesterday was a terrible day. We decided to send Sashimi for surgery to removed her ovari to prevent her from giving birth again. I am quit worried but everyone convinced me that it was a small surgery.

She gone berserk when she was at the vet. She was shaking so hard and doctor have to give her injection to calm her down. Her eye look so sad when we leave her there.

When we go to pick her up after the surgery and pay RM 210 for the surgery, she can't even move. She sleep all the way back on my hand. She haven't been eating and drinking for one whole day.

When her buis medic start to gone, she start morning in pain. She only manage to move her head and shake her tail a bit when saw Kelvin. She totally ignored me and Judy. I think she might be hate us a lot.

We thought everything was alright. We went out and when I come back, my heart sank when I saw she was no longer in her spot. Yell all the way to find her. Finally I hear a small morn nearby the grass. She drag herself there and can't move, hugging her back, I felt so relieve she was alright.

Till midnight we having problem fixing in the case to prevent her from biting her operation wound. There was still stitches there. She never been so fierce at us. She can't stand the itchy and keep scratch her wound. We try to fix the case again and she can't stand but bite us.

We try till 1.30am and at last we gave up. I can feel the pain and I start to regret on my decision. I am so afraid her wound will be affected. I can't sleep worrying she might bite off the stitches. Today whole day, she was still scratching, and whenever she scratch, my heart fear. She manage to eat a bit today. I really hope she will be alright. No affection, wound close faster and she can get back to active soon.

Dog might mean nothing to certain people, but they are always mean a lot to me.

Sashi snore like human, she get angry and seek for attention like human too.

Sometimes her cuteness really make you smile. When we unintentionally locker her outside, she will *woff woff* in a low voice, to call us to open the door for her.

Awww, I just hope she will be alright. =(

230911

2011-09-23T09:28:00.006+08:00

After so long, yesterday finally get to distribute out all of the annual dinner photo.

Have been thinking how good if everyone can put their shoes on other.

None stop complaining. How do you expect me, one person to filter the few thousand pictures just to spot you and your spouse photo.

I know you have been upset because there is some third party problem between you and your husband. Even you get angry and want me to wash back the photo of you two, it won't save the relationship too. But, still I do it for her because I can feel the sadness and hope she wish to keep.

Recall back that day, he took a long time to dress up saying he must take the stage photo together with me.

Nevertheless, I need to go earlier to photoshoot other. When he reach, he called me, but I was at the room sticking back my fake lashes dropping from having to keep close eye to take picture.

When I went out, the event started. I still remember he say disappointingly, can't take picture with you.

Maybe everything is fated to happen at first. If I didn't put lashes, if my lashes didn't fall, we might get a shoot together. But, if it happen today how? Wash out or delete it?

My six scene told me, he got a job in Miri. I am happy for him.

Although I can't forgive him for all the things he had did. If it only happen for one time, I can say is my problem, but it happen for 2 time already which I can believe is your problem.

Please make sure you really love someone before you told her. Don't simply commit, get bored later, trying to run away and told the same reason, "I seems like getting far and far from you, the feel lost" This is irresponsible lor.

Same, to the unprofessional attitude you shown in work.

Always act like nothing ever matter to you.

You know the true, but still let people blame me because you afraid to lose the only people that stand by your side.

And of coz the anjing baka kurap. 100% unforgivable. Don't even feel like speak one words with you this cheap ppl~

Facebook and pub is the only place you hang around hopping to fish another girl to change your path and let everything repeat once again?

Do you really want to live your life like this? 30 years old?

If he really going now, am I happy? asking myself real hard ¬¬

220911

2011-09-22T09:14:00.003+08:00

The voice of the cheebaiii beside is so noisy. =___=""

The way he talk, never fall from his ego. When Mr Manshor say, why you don't do it when Mr Suffian is here? He ans, when he is here, other people nt around mar.. Why you don't understand that he mean Mr Suffian is more experience, you need him here more than other people ler?

*narrow brained people*

Yesterday meet him and his puppy that always follow beside him. She pretend want to greet me but I didn't reply and she act very hurt. Well, act innocent, I don't give a damn. You already know I don't want to greet you, if your intention is only to show him, I bully you, HaHa go ahead~ Do I care? You want to be a puppy type of girl, follow behind the man you like, sorry, i am not and I don't want. I want to walk side by side. Never be a useless weak girl.

Rosni teach me a way to set that when someone read our mail, we will receive a report. Sad to know that the unprofessional faggot deleted all my mail included official mail that a DH should pass to his staff which don't have e-mail. Luckily, I can guess that earlier and print a copy for his staff. Really disappointed to the max on him unprofessional attitude.

When you see someone wrongly, how can it be this wrong!

200911

2011-09-20T15:27:00.005+08:00

After so much of misunderstood and gossip here and there, all I could say is, is all because of that guy that is useless.

When I meet Shirley in the lift, we dare to say out what actually happen.

Only he, him, don't dare to stand out and solve it.

Shirley angry someone say her and Danny, but absolutely not us that say it.

We heard that Shirley say us is the one that spread it out, till now I didn't get the answer, did she, but I did told her we didn't and never.

But, my question is, if you two already so close since before, why want to mind what people say? Why want to angry?

Suan le bah, at least I felt relief, we don't have to black face with each other. Life is more happier like that.

As for the FO ladies, continue write ur FB, I know you say me. How you help him also no use. He wont like you want.

Act the drama urself with the super no use guy. Don't drag me and my friend in to be ur cast anymore.

I hope one day your wish come true. Get married larh, I sincerely bless you two.

Thrust me, karma.

190911

2011-09-19T10:03:00.006+08:00

Hai blog,

This week practice,

See no evil, Hear no evil, Talk no evil,

as I had already made the conclusion by myself,

I have to, just like when he don't dare to break with me, I have to make the decision for him too. well you know ...coward...

After so many of true feeling I gave you, I am just anjing baka kurap, got heart de human wont even say like this to the unfortunate stray dog, don't even say their ex? so called love before?, you are worst that the dog. Dog can't help to bath them self, you got hand, please bath your mind & mouth.

You stand at their side although you know they are the one who spread it out,

You keep silence hoping the thing will solve by itself, seeing department having conflict because of you and your friend action~

Nvm also, Just take it as I spread it out.

I just want to say sorry to the Sales, for causing you all to take the blame also.

Biarkan Bunga Itu Layu, because no point watering the flower anymore.

Again for the last time, I swallow it all again. Is not the first time by the way, nothing matter any more.

My life goes on, but I wont say any single words to those involved.

I rather be an eq low person rather than hipokrit, wearing mask and smile.

See no evil, Hear no evil, Talk no evil,

What I see, what I hear, what I/you all talk starting from today, will be all invisible in my heart.

180911

2011-09-18T19:50:00.004+08:00

I thought this time he will be responsible a bit, he say he will check and talk to his staff and talk to Shirley if she ever say sth like that and stop all the spread.

But well, I have wait for 2 days, as the usual him, he still keep silence and hope that thing will solve by himself.

He know the company is having conflict, hate each other, because of that issue, but he never have the intention to solve it. Just, let it be, it will be solve by itself. This is his never change attitude.

Well, 2 months already,I don't even think he remember that.

As for that girl, you are not in my shoes, you don't know. He owe me nothing, but he owe me for his sucks, irresponsible attitude. Every one can scold, can say, just he can't.

If I didn't take back an explanation, it means I let my department people being say just like that.

If you didn't say it, at least the conflict will be over.

We have already keep silence for a lot of thing. If you so don't like the company, why don't just leave, why want to find way to laugh at what we do together with outside people? Fuuu Cheap.

170911

2011-09-17T08:05:00.005+08:00

Wuahh, early morning, I dun't like to see those face who spread gossip out and act innocent.

Fuuuuuuu, I don't even want to smile at them! Just say my eq is low!!.

I will forever remember this, you think I will believe you saying dog outside ur house, sorry, I am not stupid kid at the age of 3.

Don't always act don't know and let the matter go off like that.

When I see that face, I really baru want to meluat!

I want apology, to me, and to the Sales team. Whosoever bitch, cheeeebaiiiii & dog(BAKA KURAP) that say we said that!

160911

2011-09-16T12:47:00.003+08:00

We can always come out with thousand reason to twist and turn the story. It just depends on if we can persuade the other party.

I guess this time, it failed to persuade me. When I read back, is impossible for you to be just saying the dog outside your house.

But, never mind, I can always pretend that I believe.

Because, I am just an anjing baka kurap in your heart.

CheeeBaiii

2011-09-15T13:00:00.002+08:00

Today, I am so alright, alright till I heard words, words again, which I felt like really CheeeBaiii and slap those face real hard!!!!

HSK said, he saw my call, but don't want to pick up. WTF I call you one kah, I call HSK de lerrr... I no don't want to pick up ur call consider good already lor! You still layak dun wan pick up my call kah??

Another people tell us, she say we Sales gossip her, nth de thing, say until got. Fuuuuuuuuuu

Please lar!!! Is not from our mouth. Never from our mouth. My friend, never say anything that make me sad. Is from other people, other close people around you two. idiot!

Still the same word, if you already do it, why mind people say. If you don't want people say, just take care of your own attitude.

I never do anything, I need to hear, bare and explain for you two. Now, you turn back and say we say de! NAH! oOo

When we just break, you two so close, photo none stop de post, together same car, I am in the car behind, I should be saying sth, but I never. NEVER!

When every people ask, I still explain, say is impossible for you 2 to be together.

Now you say is our Sales gossip you all, Hell yeah, Please lar, Now I say it very clearly, is your own staff, own staff beside you.

What an idiot department head to call his own staff to go wash hair, tell them you addicted to wash hair at saloon, of coz people make you a joke to laugh and spread!

Please clearly know that, all you get is because of what you did, your own attitude.

I only wrong at love you before, I also have to bare all this thing! I never complain, who are you to! wtf. Get your karma soon. Useless people.

2011-09-14T09:40:00.002+08:00

Even he hurt me, I no longer want to talk to him, but I still don't like to hear that people scold him. Stand up and work hard. Carrer is an everything for a man!

Deleting my feelings for you. ███████████████████] 99 % complete ERROR! File too big.

140911

2011-09-14T07:57:00.003+08:00

Last night, I am worried, why he didn't show up in FB. He should be arrive from Miri already. The speed he always drive, really a bit scary.

Later, I re-think, hey who the hell are you to worry him, he might reach already, dine with his new gf, go home and sleep or perhaps go to BB meet his fans chic. You never pass through his mind for even 1 sec. Fuuuuuu

I believe what Flo say. She is not the type of girl that will purposely say sth to make you sad. So when she say she saw a girl inside his car, I do believe is true.

I know everything is none of my business anymore. But I don't like the way he ain't/never shame of the thing he did. He go and like Vivian photo. Wow, even I am not directly the 3rd party, I also felt shame on the hurt I ever bring to her. Why he doesn't? Weird right?

I just hope today he wont bring any drama and caused work trouble again.

And I keep go and click his profile picture and see, tada~~ no more you. One photo also don't have~~and let my heart pain again and again. They say, when the pain is max already, I will be alright de. ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

130911

2011-09-13T08:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I think I am really making fool of myself.

Don't know why I am so sad last night.

But, later saw how he flirt and enjoy knowing new girls, I felt is not worth for me to felt sad.

I just had to strive hard, strive hard to let go.

Can understand why he need to find a new gf real soon. With his age, he really need one fast. Those girl are pretty, really.

But the way they flirt, really sad when saw it. Same way, like how we used to be. Say each other, jokes here and there, you break your promise.

But hey, can I say I am hurt? No I don't. When I with him, do I ever think how Vivian might felt? If now my pain is 80%, hers should be 80x2%. They just break haven't one week, we declare we are in a relationship. But do I care that time? No I don't. So, nothing strange if he flirt and don't care my feeling now.

I really don't know what God is trying to play with me. If he is not the right one, why you make me fell so sure, so sure that I once thought he is the right one.

Removed him from my msn family list to friends. I hate doing this!.

120911

2011-09-12T21:30:00.005+08:00

Just now, had dinner at Kampung.

Staring at the air, the same place we often sit, imagine, imagine us, close to each other, chatting and having our dinner.

I know you not really like Japanese Taufu, You know I don't like to eat chicken also. But we still always tolerate and order for each other.

How I miss us.

Your Facebook video, if really for me, (let me think too much again, this time) I understand. I really do.

You all won't believe me, even now you say you want to get back with me, I guess I will say, I want, even I know I might get hell lots of scold. But I understand, is impossible going to happen because we no longer got the faith to be together. Won't ask more like before we break, too scare to lost you, because if you really want me, you will play your part.

No matter how much he hurt you, you still forgive. Some might say is stupid, some might say this is love.

My heart is so pain, hurt when I saw there was no longer photo of us inside your profile. I scare you might forget me. I really scare.

120911

2011-09-12T11:53:00.002+08:00

AM GETTING VERY SICK WITH MYSELF.

I HATE MY SELF.

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE. BUT ACTUALLY I KNOW, I JUST HAVE TO DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE.

WHY I KEEP FAIL.

IS SO SAD WHEN I HAVE TO SET AT MY HP, TO REMIND MYSELF TO SET HIM AND MYSELF FREE.

I NEED HELP! MYDAY MYDAY!

He deleted every picture that link together with me. Guess he really afraid it might influence him in finding new gf. Well, Good Luck to you.

120911

2011-09-12T08:20:00.003+08:00

Today, my mind is very peaceful.

Don't know izzit I know that you are on holiday. Nothing will hurt me today.

But yet, I know I actually don't want you to be away.

But, when I think you might be spending your day happily at Miri with another girl, why should I think of you anymore?

A song say it all

2011-09-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

1400911

2011-09-10T20:24:00.005+08:00

When I saw your sms, I really hope we can sms normally like before.

But I know is impossible. I choose not to reply anymore because I know we will end up quarrel too.

You don't have to say sorry to me, because I don't want myself to forgive you and let the same thing repeat again and again.

Angry, hurt, cry, forgive, heart pain seeing you alone and repeat again. I am getting sick of myself.

I also don't want to ask or know what you doing anymore.

No matter you go back Miri to interview or meet your new gf, I also don't want to know anymore.

You buy girl iPhone casing, how pain is my heart, I also can swallow don't care. You dedicate song to other girl, with such lyric, I am sad, of coz I am, but I say and write nothing.

Just work, when you have to trouble other collegue because of our stuff, I can't stand. I really cannot and don't want other to be troubled.

I just want to end everything peacefully. You know how I always hopping the best for you, before is the same, now also never change.

I don't want myself give you a hard time. I don't want because of me affect your reputation.

Just please don't repeat your attitude anymore Don't worry, My Fb post is hide from colleague. I never have intention to make you shame. They wont saw it.

Today is a very happening Saturday, yet I still choose to stay at home. I know I can't be save anymore. I don't want to be save too.

100911

2011-09-10T13:04:00.006+08:00

I had enough of everything.

My intention is just to inform you of the error found by account, you say I bother you.

Alright, I won't say anything anymore.

When the words come out from your mouth, I totally can't stand my tears.

Did I ever sms u, write FB, msg u? I didn't. Even talk also didn't.

Did I bother you? Ask yourself.!

Don't you worry, I wont even talk one more words with you. If you think this the best way for us to work. Do what you can without my help. If sth happen, blame yourself. Childish faggot.

I don't want to make until one of us go is the only solution. Because I know I will be sad for sure if you leave. But guess, it have to be. I didn't do anything, nor say anything. But you keep repeat your attitude.

If I am childish, I will as well skip out all FO stuff, but did I?

Don't worry, I don't have right to take all your thing. You are here first. I will leave.

You are really the guy most not worth for me to love. You dump me, I go without say anything. Why you still want to let me suffer all this thing? Did you really hate me so much? What wrong have I ever did to you?

2011-09-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

Went to photo shoot just now and coincidentally saw him lunch at D'Junction with others.

Heart pain, he need to wait until 1pm to go to lunch alone to avoid me.

But, I won't call him to join us lunch because I know he will be more happy and comfortable eating with other rather than me.

090911

2011-09-09T09:07:00.002+08:00

Actually, I fear this and don't wish it to happen, but I know I have to let it happen.

I am getting far from you. I can't read your mind and thinking anymore.

I don't know what is happening to you anymore.

I don't believe myself in believing you are not that kind of person.

I walk pass you but realize later that I have walk pass you.

You are no longer the center of attraction of my eye.

Even we meet each other, we also don't greet.

But, whenever you talk to me, you still sound so familiar, so familiar, the same you.

Nevertheless, Whenever I see you holding your phone tightly refused to let go,

I know and understand, she means much more to you than the before me.

080911

2011-09-08T08:55:00.003+08:00

I hate my six sense to be so accurate.

He is in a relationship again. so soon.

and I think I can guess who is the girl.

The sweet sound and look when he answer phone, the forever and ever lyric he dedicate to her,

all he do it for me before.

Why when a guy want you, he can do and say whatsoever he want.

When he don't want, he can change so fast.

Tell myself, not to think, because I have much more important things to do today. Don't think and DON"T CRY!

070911

2011-09-07T08:10:00.003+08:00

Do you ever come to a level of disappointment where you don't wish to say anything anymore?

That's me now.

060911

2011-09-06T13:15:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night, I went to steamboat.

All of your image was inside my mind.

When I pass by Farley, I recall how we used to eat ikan bakar happily at there.

When I went to Everly walkway, it was so beautiful there with all the lantern hanging around.

You still remember we ever lye at there and talk?

How I hope we are still the same, went there for a walk, simply walk will do.

I can't understand why you have to do me like this.

I don't understand why people have to say me, but not you.

You know how suffer am I, just because you are not responsible, before and even now?

Why I have to bare all the pain when you are the cause?

I wonder, when you happily holding other's girl and and walk through the place we ever walk by, will you recall me? all the thing you ever promise me?

050911

2011-09-05T08:15:00.002+08:00

I told myself not to think and talk about him anymore.

But I saw he is buying girl iPhone casing. If not for girl, for who?

Is a good news by the way. At least he is willing to spend his money to buy thing to woo girl. lolz

040911

2011-09-04T16:47:00.002+08:00

I can find one hundred reason to hate him,

They ask me, why you still protect him when we scold him.

I also don't know,

One moment I am damn angry him, another moment I try to find thousand of reason to tell myself, is not like that.

I stop reflect and talk to him.

Because,

Someone ask me,

You know what he really want now?

No? Then your love towards him is not real.

I can't even read his mind, how can I say I love him?

I know he just want a peaceful life now, without the shadow of me, wait for his job in Miri, and go back and get a new gf.

I should let him go. The only thing I can do now.

I have to stop my mix feeling. I am getting sick of myself.

I can't stay forever lying in my room starring at the ciling.

040911

2011-09-04T09:54:00.002+08:00

When you don't want to meet someone, you will eventually keep meeting him. I wonder why God so love to play with me.

Last night, we plan to go for one colleague's Raya Open House. Due to family dinner we prospond till 9pm. Reach there, I was shocked to see 9117, and I know he is inside with his superb good friend Shirley. I am so damn right.

Act professional, I go in and smile to every one. I don't want because of me, everyone having a hard time.

During that time, Shirley say, Danny, car key give me, and he did. I thought only me that think is weird, when we go up car, Flo say, why she act like that. She is making thing complicated.

Is alright. I control my tears, teaching myself,

Look, look at his car, immune yourself, like he is driving another girl, the more you pain, the faster you will be okay.

At first I am quit sad, quit weird with the feeling, one month ago, I am inside the car. Now is another girl.

But what make me really disappointed, is his attitude.

When we go to another colleague house, 4 car in a row, he was above us, and our car stop at traffic light. When your friend car, 4 girls behind, drop off the line, will you stop and wait? When you stop, the car in front you will stop too right?

NO he didn't. And we lost our way. Even you are the one that sit beside, will you call the driver to stop and wait? No, she didn't too.

I didn't say much because I already know he is not gentleman from the start. Just never thought until like this.

Flo say, luckily you didn't married him, if u do, how sad will your life be.

Well is true, I am stupid seeing all his bad as good. Love is blind.

Just let him breath with his sucks attitude and big breast Angel? Fuuuuuuu~~

Once Upon a Time, Is a Lie

2011-09-03T15:53:00.002+08:00

Am watching a movie, those pure *au xiang zu*. pure love, pure support. All is a lie.

Once, me too, support with all my heart. He doesn't allow me to go and watch. I understand because I don't want to distract his attention to look after me.

I stay at home and support. Praying and hoping him to win.

Not because I want him to got the money after win, is because I am afraid he might felt disappointed and sad when he lose.

I am happy when he told me a lot of people cheers for him. I can imagine the scenery in my mind.

Last time he told me he going for competition, I told him

I won't be there to support you anymore. Perhaps you don't need me too.

He answer, Ya lor...

030911

2011-09-03T08:43:00.003+08:00

He act stupid so I just say out what is in my mind. What I see.

But later when I realize his staff read it, I delete it because I don't want to spoil his reputation.

Do so at work is really Fuuuuuuuuuuuu.

I don't want to talk to cheap guy, dirty guy, gelit guy, Say me Childish, I don't fucking care!!!!

You say I am crazy? Yeah, regret messing with a crazy girl, like me? =)

I am sorry to Flo and Ros, I didn't hear what you two say because I can't make it.

I am sorry I have to keep burden you two when I can't control my tears.

Just let me pain, pain enough I will be okay de.. Gambadeh!!~~

020911

2011-09-02T15:29:00.005+08:00

He's been adding lots of girl mostly from Miri and with big boobs.

This time, during working hour, he even go and add one and comment that she is cute. Undeniable, she got super big nen nen.

I know he is desperate, he like big nen nen one, but why do you have to show yourself so cheap, cheap until so obvious?

Do you know when you act so, you are indirectly "wu ru" me. Why do you want to chase me at first when you already know that I don't have big boobs?

I am shame, not because I don't have big boobs, I am shame because I am stupid, once being fool by you.

If only myself sensitive, why my bff sense it too?

Why do I have to try so hard, to make you felt not so bad, to get you back into work group?

Starting tomorrow, I won't be doing anything anymore. I don't want to have a nasty friend.

You are nasty. Wish you good luck. Found ur big nen nen and see if she is real towards you.

010911

2011-09-01T15:27:00.003+08:00

Once again, I am fear of my life.

I am afraid when I think that someday in future, I might live my life alone or I might hold another guy hand, and told him I Love You, I miss you.. repeating all the same thing to the different people.

I am scare and I don't want to. Why people can change their bf/gf so easily? Aren't the love feeling is so real coming from the heart?

Afraid also no use, fear also no use. I just can choose not to think and goes on with my life.

Everything happen for a reason, Someday I will know the reason.

Most probably might be I will have the same illness as my mum, so God doesn't allow me to in a serious relationship so I wont burden people. If so, this might be a good solution which I have to thanks God. =)

Confusing

2011-08-31T16:13:00.002+08:00

I have been thinking, think and think,

Why everyone relationship can last so long, why mine never can, even I try so hard?

Izzit because my temper? my jealous? too afraid to lose? don't know how to appreciate family & friend when I got bf? Too follow feeling, never think if he is the suitable one?

That's why God punish me. Till I learn? Guess it must be.

♥♡♥misaMisaN.Journal♥♡♥

180112

170112

080112

060112

050112

040112

030112

311211

311211

311211

291211

281211

271211

261211

241211

191211

151211

101211

101211

081212

061211

041212

031212

021111

011212

291111

請感謝我被放棄過

281111

281111

241111

231111

211111

201111

191111

181111

181111

161111

141111

101111

Last Last LAST

5 years and Still the Same

Everyday have to work like this is S.U.C.K.S

Disappointment to the level of 101

071111

051111

041111

271011

251011

191011

Life is Like That

151011

131011

Talam Dua Muka

101011

101011

081011

Working with Dead Wood

061011

061011

051011

031011

021011

Di waktu kamu inginmelepaskan seseorang, ingatlahpada saat kamu inginmendapatkannya

Di waktu kamu mulai tidak... mencintainya, ingatlah saatpertama kamu jatuh cintapadanya

Di waktu kamu mulai bosandengannya, ingatlah selalu saatterindah bersamanya

Di waktu kamu inginmenduakannya, ingatlah bahawadia selalu setia kepadamu

Di waktu kamu inginmembohonginya, ingatlah diatelah jujur kepadamu

Maka kamu akan merasakanbermakna dia untukmu

Jangan sampai nanti dia sudahtidak lagi di sisimu, kamu barumenyedari semua erti dirinyauntukmu

300911

290911

280911

270911

260911

250911

230911

220911

200911

190911

Di waktu kamu ingin
melepaskan seseorang, ingatlah
pada saat kamu ingin
mendapatkannya

Di waktu kamu mulai tidak
... mencintainya, ingatlah saat
pertama kamu jatuh cinta
padanya

Di waktu kamu mulai bosan
dengannya, ingatlah selalu saat
terindah bersamanya

Di waktu kamu ingin
menduakannya, ingatlah bahawa
dia selalu setia kepadamu

Di waktu kamu ingin
membohonginya, ingatlah dia
telah jujur kepadamu

Maka kamu akan merasakan
bermakna dia untukmu

Jangan sampai nanti dia sudah
tidak lagi di sisimu, kamu baru
menyedari semua erti dirinya
untukmu